Week Thirty Seven (and four days)

The Bump This Week

 less than three weeks to go!

It's a hot one today...over 90 I am sure.  The husband is out washing and vacuuming the car (said he likes to work up a good sweat) so I thought I would take a little time to reflect on this past week from the comfort of my air conditioned basement.  So here's what I've been up to this week (my first week "off" from teaching!):
1.sleeping- it's unbelievable how tired I've been...more tired than the first trimester?  can't remember...seems like it
2.sewing- just a wee bit of this- I sewed a changing pad cover...pictures soon to come
3.soaking- one thing that's been really sweet has been the extra time I have been able to spend dwelling in God's word.  During the month of July I have decided to study Ruth.  To go along with my study I have been reading A Sweet and Bitter Providence by John Piper and listening to these sermons each week.    Ruth is a story of love, suffering, and trust in God; I've found myself in these pages and have been praying to have a heart like Ruth that finds refuge in the Lord.
3.preparing- 

• hospital bag (check)
• baby clothes washed and put away (check)
• car seat assembled (check, thanks hon!)
• make lots of lists with endless "baby oriented tasks" that will never get done in time (double check)

4.pondering- I still lay awake some nights and think about our little guy.  Some thoughts are simple- I wonder if he'll have his daddy's eyes? Some are more complex- sleep schedules, immunizations (you get the picture), and some are ridden with worry about being a mom...a MOM.  When I actually heard someone say the word in reference to me it took me a moment to swallow that one syllable title.  Being a mom is a big deal and there is a lot I could worry about so these verses have been helping my heart these past months:

"do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." 

                                             -Philippians 4:6-7

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

                                             -2 Corinthians 12:9

Do you all have any Scripture to help cast off fear and anxiety?  I would love your thoughts.

Much Love,

Jen

Springtime Green

"And to my blackened branches you brought the

    springtime green of a new life"

-Lori Chaffer

an Easter poem for you

Mary's Story
        by: Jen Jacobs

damp mud floor, no windows,
locked in
darkness
You came to let me live
placed your hand on my head
forced the evil out,
light
brilliant sun
filled the place
I was kept away
beautiful savior
I will follow you

you continue
miracles
blind see, cripple walk, deaf hear
we love you
broken-hearted, broken-bodied
we love you

they hate you
I’ve seen the way they whisper
I recognize those demons
white washed tombs
open-throated graves
why such patience for them?

they have you now
I saw from a distance
I followed you from Galilee
I will follow you

cover my eyes with clammy hands
still I see your bloody body
the cross too much for me;
how dare they crucify my Lord!

I try
to come to you
to wipe your face, give you drink
their bodies hold me back
drag me to the dirt

I watch.
I listen to curses and cackles from the crowd
I sink.
head in hands
I howl.

My
Jesus.
On the
Cross.

Don’t leave Lord,
Live!
I know you can get down
call on Him.
Do it.

I touch your toiled feet
full of black and blue
and red and rust
from the nail

It is finished?
No Lord, let it never be
done!

Darkness in the day
In my heart
I will follow you
to the tomb

They lay down your body
wrapped in white linens
they roll the stone
you are locked inside
darkness
no Hope

I stay to keep away thieves
I will follow you
in sleep, in death.

I awake and the stone is disturbed!
My majesty is missing!
Two bright-eyed men ask why I weep
It is for you Lord.
You have gone away and
I cannot follow you.

And then your voice…
falls on my ears
the sweetest song
Mary
you say—just as when you called me
for the first time
And I know it is you!

I run to you, my feet cannot
carry me fast enough
my mourning is removed
replaced with rejoicing!

I could not cling though,
you spoke of ascension
I did not understand yet.

I will follow you
I will tell of your glory.
You are my forever king and
I will follow you.

(extra)ordinary

It is easy to see God in the midst of miracles (an unexplainable case of cancer cured, walking away from a disaster without a scratch, etc..).  Last Monday the Hope staff reflected upon the seemingly ordinary daily provisions of God in our lives.  We began to recall God's goodness and faithfulness to us throughout our days.  I have been pondering these very provisions this week.  It has made me stand in awe of a God who not only cares about the "big" things in our lives, but His hands are in every detail too.

Here are just a few (extra)ordinary ways God cares me for in a day:
1. Every morning I wake up (in a warm bed, in a warm house and I've gotten a good night's sleep!).
2. When I open the refrigerator to search for breakfast I have a plethora of options before me that will keep me nourished and strengthen my body.
3. Josh drives me to work and we both arrive to our jobs safely(even though he drives 60 mph on the icy highways along with the rest of the morning traffic).
4. Teachers, staff and students smile at me in the hallways, share words of encouragement and pray for me.
5. God again provides food for me and baby at lunch; I also get to eat lunch with some pretty adorable kiddos.
6. I am driven home safely (yet again).
7. I have an amazing, loving husband to cook dinner with and a wonderful Jemimah who sings as she sets the table.
8. Our family can eat together and share stories from our day.
9. I am able to fall asleep snuggled up to my best friend.
10. Not only has God provided all of these daily necessities for me but He also has been knitting together a little life inside of me and providing for our baby!

Throughout the day my heart has beat an average of 100,000 times a day; I have taken an average of 20,000 breaths a day and all without stopping or having to remember to do this to function!

"nor is he served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything."  
-Acts 17:25

Knowing these things and remembering them are quite different.  I want to recall God's love for me in the mundane details of every day.  It's easy to complain when I've had a "hard day"; but really, how can I when He's done so much for me and continues to lavish His love and grace on me?  Remembering these things has the ability to shut my mouth pretty quickly.  I'm thankful God forgives my grumbling and helps me to understand His love in new refreshing ways.  Oh how He loves us! 

Sailing through the Work Week

"A ship in the harbour is safe, but that is not what ships are built for."

                                           -William Shedd

Hello friends.  Happy Tuesday to you.  Our principal shared this Shedd quote with our staff on Monday morning.  He lead us in a devotion about living counter-cultural lives.  I so often want to stay in the "harbor"; don't you?  If I am honest with myself I want to live a safe, cozy existence free from pain, stress, or trials of any sort.  I want my life to be easy.  The Bible speaks of a different kind of life. 

Romans 12:2 says:

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Jesus says in Matthew 10:39:

Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. 

So, how do these verses apply to me practically day in and day out?  First, I have to remember that God tells me my life will not be easy; in fact, He says I should be joyful when I meet "trials of various kinds" (James 1:2).  Trials produce steadfastness.  Let's take a look at how these verses fleshed themselves out today:

The alarm went off at 6:00, 6:10, and finally 6:20  I was about to grumble about how tired I was and how I didn't want to go to work when I thought of Monday's devotion.  I had to do a bit of "self talk".  I had to tell myself that even though school is sometimes (most of the time) challenging it is worth it.  Jesus will be my help, my strength, and my song.  And then after being at school for one hour and the kids are poking me in my lower back saying "teacher! teacher!" instead of raising their hands patiently at their desks I have to do some more "self talk" about Jesus loving these children and I should too (even when they are not obedient).

  When I'm not doing well at the whole self-talk business I'm thankful for a husband who will spoon feed me the gospel, and for the friends and co-workers who encourage me with God's good news.  So cheer up brothers and sisters!  If you are facing trials praise Him; if you are joyfully content praise Him.  I will leave you with the verse I am teaching the kindergartners this week:

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

                                                     -1 Thessalonians 5:18

A Cup of Hot Cocoa

I have been blessed abundantly by working at Hope Academy.  Every morning the staff come together to share Scripture and pray before students arrive.  On Tuesday one of my teaching friends encouraged us to love God more by sharing a story with us.  This story was a collection of children's thoughts on God (their adorable illustrations accompanied each page).  My favorite entry was written by a young girl, six years old as I recall,  who wrote, "God's love is like drinking hot cocoa after you've been pushed into the snow".  What a beautiful understanding of God's love!  These little ones can teach me so much!

Sunrise at the Cabin

"Oh God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you; as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary, beholding your power and glory. Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you."

~Psalm 63:1-3

Why Bodies?

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Romans 12:1

Why does Paul tell us to present our bodies as a living sacrifice? Why not our minds, our hearts, our souls? Christianity isn't just a "mind religion" or a "heart religion" as John Piper would put it. God wants all of us. Bodies are important to God. I have a body to give bodily evidence that Jesus is my treasure. I was so helped by listening to the sermon "Present Your Bodies as Living Sacrifice" http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Feeds/ . My body is more than just skin and hair stretched over muscles. I am a vessel of mercy. God cares how I use my hands and feet and tongue. God cares so much that He came to live in flesh:

though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. Philippians 2:6-7

He can empathize with us! I am so thankful for a God who can relate to me.