I wrote a few weeks ago about facing something difficult. I've debated whether or not to write about it. I've been praying about it too. By faith, I know I have the freedom to either deal privately with it, or share it all with you. I've decided to open up this part of my life. I tend to share mostly the happy, pretty things on this blog because I want to remember those moments. But, I think sometimes it is good to share the darker and more difficult things in life as well. Jesus promises us that there will be suffering. It should come as no surprise to me. I have recognized a desire in me to flee from suffering and avoid it. That is, until I have to deal with it head on.
My family and I have experienced so much joy and heartache in the past few months. We have sold a home and purchased a home. Even bigger news though, is that we found out we were expecting our second child. From the day we found out the good news we prayed for that child, planned for that child, and dreamt of that child. And then, a week later we lost that child. I was heartbroken. And even in the midst of these painful circumstances, God was there. He was there the moment I found out at the doctor's office and he surrounded me with the loving arms of my mother in law. He gave me joy that afternoon in the sight of my son smiling from his crib as I went to get him from his nap. But most of all, He's been there to give me comfort and hope from His Word. And these are the promises I have been clinging to in the weeks that followed...
For a reminder that the Lord is good, always...
"The Lord is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made."
"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."
For when I need to turn my eyes away from myself, and my situation, and fix my eyes on Jesus...
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith- more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire- may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ."
-1 Peter 1:3-7
For when I am fearful of facing more trials...
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."
As my husband and I have felt deep sadness over the loss of our little one, it has also made our hearts ache even more for what is to come in heaven. To be in the full presence of Jesus, where there is no more suffering or brokenness. Where everything is restored and right. I want to be there.
"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longings for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free form its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience."
As Jesus promises suffering, he also promises hope. I rest in the one who has overcome the world by the blood of the cross.
"In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world."
"For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person- though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die- but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
sometimes sorrowful, yet always rejoicing,